Making Room for Yenem

Rabbi Akiva Eiger was famous for his humility.

It is said that once at the Pesach Seder a poor man sitting at his table accidently knocked over his wine glass which considerably altered the color scheme of the beautiful white lace tablecloth which covered the table.

Rabbi Akiva Eiger was so reflexively sensitive to the poor man’s embarrassment that within a heartbeat he also knocked over his own wine glass, further soaking what had already become a red tablecloth in the vicinity of his seat.

No, he wasn’t hard wired to act this way from birth.  Sensitivity is an Avodah, and he devoted years to the avodah of being sensitive to another’s feelings.

So where are we holding?

We don’t hear the voice of Hashem because we’re too busy hearing the voice of our body.  And that goes for the voice of yenem also because we are too busy trying to hear ourselves, submerged as we are in our own needs/wants.  And because we can’t hear anything but ourselves we are oblivious to what affects others.

Rabbi Shimon Kessin tells us that the purpose of avodah is not to become more religious.  It’s to develop character traits which allow one to elevate himself in his relationship with Hashem.

And the single most important factor which will distance you from Hashem is if you are unable to relate to another person.  You can’t be a Tzaddik or righteous person in respect to Hashem if you’re not that way with stam people. To the degree that you are unable to relate to your peers, to that extent you will be unable to relate to Hashem.  And given the fact that we are too busy being full of ourselves to relate to others, things aren’t looking good for the Jews as far as relating to Hashem is concerned.

Humility is the essence of Yiras Shomayim and the essence of relating to another person so is it any wonder that the same quality that separates you from your fellow man (arrogance) will also separate you from Hashem. You just can’t pick and choose when and when not to be arrogant because it’s impossible to be arrogant to man and not be arrogant to Hashem.

The bottom line of the Mesillas Yesharim is the concept of Avodah which is a step by step process and the first step is to become sensitive to others.  We start by elevating awareness of another person, and we don’t get there by stam thinking about another person for as Rabbi Kessin further points out, if you sit down and say:  “I have to start thinking about another person,” it will never happen.

The trick is to stop thinking about yourself long enough for another person to find his way into your thoughts. 

You Can’t Believe a Word of it

       

GuardYourSpeak

(In June 2012 we launched GuardYourSpeak which, as its name implies, was dedicated to focusing on all aspects of Shmiras HaLoshon.  In short order it became burdensome to maintain both sites, so in recognition of the fact that the material posted on GuardYourSpeak was a natural fit for EmunahSpeak, it was decided to discontinue GuardYourSpeak and repost all of those pieces on EmunahSpeak over the course of the next few months.)

Shemiras HaLoshon is in today.

The words, Shemiras HaLoshon, that is.  What those words are meant to represent can be quite another story.

Did you ever notice that there are several halachas listed in Sefer Chofetz Chaim that tend to be generally ignored, as if by prior agreement, with the majority of Klal Yisroel in on the conspiracy?

Who has not witnessed, at least once in his life, not to mention the more likely scenario of dozens of times, if not more, the trashing of a people of impeccable character, including great rabbis who were universally considered to be great tzaddikim with usually only the speaker’s camp, group, sect, or whatever, opting out of the adulation?

And speaker wise, (re: the baali loshon hora), we’re not talking pygmies here.  Many of them are great men in their own right, and the information that they are giving over they in turn heard from the lips of other great men.

So what gives here anyway?

Most, if not all of it that’s not actually out right slander (motzi shem ra) is spoken under the rubric of toellis (speech that is necessary for a specific purpose).  One avails himself of this heter, as per the guidelines laid out in Sefer Chofetz Chaim, so as to make known something that would be important for the listener to hear, such as negative information concerning a shidduch or perhaps a potential business partnership.

The truth is that one man’s tzaddik can be another’s apikoris, so given the elasticity of the heter of toellis where the line between objective and subjective necessity of one’s words tends to get subconsciously blurred, it would be more productive to shift our focus elsewhere.

We said above that many of them are great men in their own right, and the information that they are giving over they in turn heard from the lips of other great men.  While everyone and his uncle who has a negative comment to make about someone will do their best to morph their words into pristine examples of speech bursting forth with positive purpose, if what they are saying they in turn heard from the lips of others then they have a serious problem.

Where exactly is the heter that would permit one to believe this stuff?

It may be all fine and dandy to either actually sanitize one’s negative comments under the ultra-violet exception of toellis or to fool oneself into thinking that he did, but neither scenario is going to fly in the realm of being mekabel (accepting) someone else’s words because what most of us forgot, or maybe never knew, or better yet don’t want to know, is that there is no mention anyplace in Sefer Chofetz Chaim of any kind of heter to be mekabel loshon hora l’toellis.

What this means in English is that you can’t believe anything you are told about anyone for any reason whatsoever, and if doesn’t concern you in some way you can’t even listen to it. 

Unlike the speaking of loshon hora, there’s no wiggle room here on the mekabel end within which to drey.  So how is it that so many of us seem to be running on what amounts to permanent chutzpah cruise control in the realm of believing loshon hora that more often than not we shouldn't even be listening to in the first place ?

When we said that you can’t believe anything you are told about anyone for any reason whatsoever, we omitted to mention that there two exceptions to this no, nada, nicht, never rule of being mekabel loshon hora, which is that if a person is an established apikoris or a rasha then you are allowed to believe what’s said about him.

And these are the only exceptions, so we ask again in reference to those who are mekabel loshon hora about our great rabbis and other upstanding people:

Where’s the heter?

Could it be that the taiva to speak loshon hora is so great that they have to morph tzaddikim, with which they have disagreements that amount to no more than chaluki deos (differences of opinion), into apikorsim just to be able to speak about them?

How can one posit such a possibility?

Great rabbis or just plain fine upstanding Jews are exactly that.  What you see is what you get.  It isn’t likely that one would find any of them doubling as apikorsim or reshoim on their night job.  And it’s just as unlikely that you’ll ever encounter an exception to the rule that forbids you to be mekabel loshon hora from someone. 

What we are looking at here is simply gross ignorance of the Halacha that is unfortunately not limited to the ignorant.

There are a number of exceptions to many of the rules laid down in Sefer Chofetz Chaim, and many of those exceptions have to run a gauntlet of five or sometimes even seven conditions. 

This isn’t one of them.

The Halacha of not believing loshon hora that’s told to you is about as clear as things get vis á vis the laws of loshon hora.

You can’t believe a word of it.

For The Love of The Mitzvah

I was recently at the levaya of Mrs. Blau A”H, formerly of Boro Park, but now firmly and rightfully ensconced somewhere in the neighborhood of the Kisei HaKovod. 

There was much talk of her sterling middos in addition to a selflessness that recognized no limits that would restrict her multifaceted chesed activities in any way.

When it came to the needs of yenem, be they financial or emotional, NO was missing in action from her vocabulary, as was Yes as far as her own needs were concerned.

And from the midst of all this goodness one particular middah stood out from the others in the words of several of the maspidim (funeral speakers).  We were told that Mrs. Blau A”H had a special love for doing mitzvohs in general and that the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah (the separation and burning of a certain quantity of dough) occupied a very special place in her heart.

For many years already, Mrs. Blau rose very early on Friday mornings to join several other women in one of the Boro Park bakeries to perform this mitzvah.

A year or so ago, the bakery purchased a much larger facility in the neighborhood. It moved its baking operations into the second floor of the new building and the women continued to perform the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah as before.

With the exception of Mrs. Blau that is.

She had some serious problems with her legs, which precluded her from climbing the stairs, so she was forced to take a pass on the mitzvah which she loved so much.

At some point, one of her sons found out that she was no longer going to the bakery to perform the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah and also the reason why.  He told his mother that he knew the owner of the bakery and that he would arrange for her to take the freight elevator to the second floor of the bakery where the other women met to “take off” challah from the dough.

On the very next Friday, a very excited Mrs. Blau showed up at the bakery at 4:00 A.M. to perform her beloved mitzvah, but when she attempted to enter the freight elevator the operator wouldn’t let her on.  It seems that there was a miscommunication of some sort and the freight elevator operator was never informed that Mrs. Blau had permission to hitch a ride to the second floor.

What could she do?  She had given it her best but under the circumstances her best simply wasn’t good enough. 

We said in EmunahSpeak: It’s All About Desire, that we learn from Rabbeinu Yona that for his whole life a person should constantly desire higher goals.  One shouldn’t say, “I’m giving it my best,” because as laudable as it might sound on the surface, in reality it’s nothing more than a declaration of surrender to one’s present circumstances.

But it’s more than simply pushing the envelope on what hopefully is a goal oriented life.  Rabbeinu Yona takes it a step further by telling us that one should desire and yearn to attain UNREACHABLE levels.

There are times, of course, when one is not in a position to actualize his desires.  For physical, financial, or emotional reasons one may find it impossible to traverse the barriers placed before him, courtesy of his inherent limitations.

But Mrs. Blau was cut from different cloth.

Faced with a non-cooperative freight elevator operator interposed between her and the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah, Mrs. Blau would have received full credit for the mitzvah had she dragged herself home. 

But she didn’t schlep out to a bakery at 4:00 for full credit.  Mrs. Blau was strictly cash and carry.  She came for the love of the mitzvah.

And as we also said in EmunahSpeak: It’s All About Desire, this greatness is not bestowed for giving one’s best but rather for desiring to give even better.

So she crawled up the stairs on her hands and knees one step at a time propelled by nothing….but her desire to break through every barrier that was placed between her and her mitzvah. 

It’s All About Desire

Contrary to popular belief, the main avenue of obtaining schar (reward) in Olam Haba is not by way of our actions in our term limited engagement in this world. 

Rabbi Daniel Glatstein informs us that in Shomayim the focus is on what we desired to do as opposed to what we actually did.  It’s about recognizing that our horizons are not circumscribed by our inherent limitations because we can desire our way past them as we noted in EmunahSpeak: Beyond the Horizon:

When anchored in hashkafic bedrock, our emunah and bitochon pokes a hole through our personal horizon, and beckons our imagination to walk through to the other side to a world in which everything is possible.

And we learn from Rabbeinu Yona that for his whole life a person should constantly desire higher goals.  One shouldn’t say, “I’m giving it my best,” because as laudable as it might sound on the surface, in reality it’s nothing more than a declaration of surrender to one’s present circumstances, as we further pointed out in EmunahSpeak: Beyond the Horizon:

You have a problem and you don’t see a solution, so that’s it as far as you’re concerned.  It’s time to turn out the lights and call it a day because your whole world is subsumed within the parameters of your imagination, and what you can’t see simply doesn’t exist for you.

But it’s more than simply pushing the envelope on what hopefully is a goal oriented life.  Rabbeinu Yona takes it a step further by telling us that one should desire and yearn to attain UNREACHABLE levels.

And how does one reach what Rabbeinu Yona defines as unreachable?

For Rav Shimshon Pincus, zt”l it was no problem, for as we said in EmunahSpeak: Within our Reach, he (Rav Pincus zt”l) informs us that Hashem goes above the rules for a person who has a desire for spiritual greatness and whose emunah is so strong that he believes that Hashem has both the ability and the will to transcend the normal order of things in our day.  Such a person does not question Hashem’s ways just as the Avos did not question Hashem’s ways and he does not feel thwarted by the fact Hashem created him with great limitations.  He also realizes the limited natural capabilities that he was endowed with cannot stop Hashem from bestowing spiritual greatness upon him. 

And this greatness is not bestowed for giving one’s best but rather for desiring to give even better.

Don’t Even Think About It

                                                                               

GuardYourSpeak

(In June 2012 we launched GuardYourSpeak which, as its name implies, was dedicated to focusing on all aspects of Shmiras HaLoshon.  In short order it became burdensome to maintain both sites, so in recognition of the fact that the material posted on GuardYourSpeak was a natural fit for EmunahSpeak, it was decided to discontinue GuardYourSpeak and repost all of those pieces on EmunahSpeak over the course of the next few months.)

You know how it is.

We see someone do or say something that we don’t approve of, and right away he’s guilty of whatever it is we’re charging him with in our minds.  We didn’t (at least this time) make a derogatory comment about it to anyone, nor were we mekabel this negative inference from yenem.

Neither saying nor hearing anything leaves us squeaky clean on our ride

under the radar as far as the laws of loshon hora are concerned.

Our thoughts, however, are a different story because as we explained in EmunahSpeak: Nothing but Thoughts:

You are what you think.  

We were speaking there in relation to character traits and we went on to point out that If his (a person’s) thoughts were saturated with humility it would be physically IMPOSSIBLE for him to conduct himself in an arrogant manner.  And so it is for every other midda, be it positive or negative.

And the same can be said even for certain mitzvos.

In the introduction to Sefer Chofetz Chaim the Chofetz Chaim lists 17 Laveen (negative mitzvos) and 14 Aseen (positive mitzvos) that one might potentially violate by either speaking or believing loshon hora.  While most of these mitzvos are not about loshon hora per se in their essence, the Chofetz Chaim tells us that when ones crosses the line on loshon hora he may also be violating one or more of these Aseen or Laveen.

But most of them are also violated without even uttering a word of loshon hora.

If someone is speaking loshon hora is he not, as was also said there, simply reading his lines; the lines that he has written for himself; the ones etched into his thoughts?  

If you said it, you first thought it.

And if you thought it, then even if you’re a tzaddik who kept his mouth shut in the aftermath of the judge and jury role playing that was outlined above, and you didn’t tell your wife, your co-worker or your best buddy what you saw or heard, you have to know that you’re a tzaddik who might already be in big trouble because you may have trashed the Aseh of judge your fellow Jew charitably. 

And that’s before you even opened your mouth. 

So it all comes down to this:

If you really want to control your tongue you have to first learn to control your mind because if you’re not already thinking about something that shouldn’t be there then it’s impossible that you should be speaking about it.

A Deeper Perspective

Given our penchant for doing our own thing regardless of the consequences, it must be that we don’t take those consequences all that seriously.  If we did we would conduct our affairs in a key more commensurate with the reality of our situation rather than be terminally off key.

This is nothing more than an obtuse way of saying that if we really believed in Hashem we wouldn’t do what we do.

And the reason that we don’t internalize the knowledge of Hashem the way we should is because He’s not real to us.  And for the why of this we need look no further than Bilevavi Mishkan Evneh which teaches us that Hashem’s invisible due to the superficial perspective with which we view the world.  By virtue of this filter, Hashem’s Hand and Providence are seen only during very unnatural miracles.

And given the fact that the big bang miracles were a one time phenomenon in history, our superficial perspective essentially renders us blind to the reality of Hashem in the world.

As a consequence, despite myriad examples and proofs brought by the Sha’ar HaBechina of the Chovos Halavovos showing how Hashem can be seen in every aspect of what we call Nature, our eyes glaze over this seamless perfection which bespeaks of a world of plan and purpose and we see nothing.

It is imperative that we flee from this superficial perspective as if it were the plague, because that’s exactly what it is.  It is a pox that distorts our field of vision replacing what should be a vision of the Divine with a blank screen.

Rather, as Bilevavi Mishkan Evneh tells us, a person must go beyond even what can be seen in Nature and see Hashem within each and every detail of his life.

With this deeper perspective of seeing the Godliness that underlines inanimate objects, plants, animals and humans, one elevates them from the ordinary to being creations connected to Hashem.  

And at the end of the day this defines the entire greatness of any created being:  the degree to which Hashem is seen and revealed it.

But even with Hashem in our face, so to speak, wherever we turn He remains somewhat out of focus because, ever present as He may be, we’re still looking in the wrong direction.

Hashem is called a Hidden G-d.

Where does He hide?  In a person’s heart.

And if one wants to connect to Him as opposed to being merely cognizant of Him within everything that appears on his screen he has to work to uncover Hashem's presence in his heart.

Fundamentally Flawed

On my recent trip to Eretz Yisroel I was asked by a very nice lady, who had sat on the other side of the empty seat that separated us during our flight, if I could help with her luggage and I readily agreed figuring that I would be stuck there for an hour or more, as was always the case, waiting for my own luggage to arrive.

As it turns out, I was surprised (shocked would be more accurate) to find that my suitcase was one of the first to come off the conveyor and onto the baggage carousel.

I was in a hurry to get to Yerushalayim and it occurred to me that maybe her luggage wouldn’t put in an appearance any time soon.  I didn’t wish to be bogged by this lady’s luggage so I quickly scanned the crowd for a replacement and readily noted that there was any number of people who would gladly help her without even being asked to do so.  So with clear conscience I quickly gathered my things.

I then asked her to watch my stuff while I went to freshen up a bit.  As I walked to the facilities I went through a whole back and forth in my head as to whether or not I should help her in any case even though there were many others who could perform this chesed just as easily. 

By the time I had washed my hands I had thoroughly weighed the pros and cons of hanging around to help this lady and I had come to the conclusion that it would be the right thing to do despite the aforesaid plethora of qualified replacements.

Mazel tov!

I had decided to do a chesed.

As I was basking in the light of my momentary righteousness I suddenly remembered that I had been forced to check a hat box at JFK that now had to be picked up at the oversized luggage counter here in Ben Gurion.  Had I left the airport as I had originally planned I would have left without it.  It wasn’t until I had decided to remain to assist the lady with her things that Hashem reminded me about my hat.

Within seconds I had connected the dots but then I remembered something I had recently heard at the levaya of Rav Mechel Tropper z"l.  Here I was sifting through the Yeas and Neys of performing a chesed with the default position being not to do it unless I could justify it which, Boruch Hashem, I did.  This is what most of us do on a daily basis but the whole thought process is fundamentally flawed.

Rav Mechel’s attitude toward chesed was just the opposite.  His default position was to always do whatever chesed appeared on his screen with only a serious objection to doing it given any weight, because when an opportunity to do a chesed came his way he would ask himself:

Why should I not do the chesed? 

It’s Lowly

  GuardYourSpeak

(In June 2012 we launched GuardYourSpeak which, as its name implies, was dedicated to focusing on all aspects of Shmiras HaLoshon.  In short order it became burdensome to maintain both sites, so in recognition of the fact that the material posted on GuardYourSpeak was a natural fit for EmunahSpeak, it was decided to discontinue GuardYourSpeak and repost all of those pieces on EmunahSpeak over the course of the next few months.)



Much of the loshon hora that is spoken, be it born of ignorance or willful blindness is fueled by a number of misconceptions as to what is fair game for one’s barbed tongue.  And those misconceptions are themselves rooted in a serious lack of understanding as to what the laws of loshon hora are all about.

Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits tells us that the prohibition of speaking loshon hora is the Torah’s way of letting us know that, in addition to not being allowed to damage a fellow Jew, we are supposed to be a higher people.  We are aristocratic, and it is therefore beneath our dignity to focus on the negative.  Yidden are supposed to exclusively dwell on the positive.

Our attitude as to what our true focus should be is best illustrated by a vignette from the Chovos Halevovos in which a rabbi was walking through the street with several of his students. They came upon the carcass of a dead dog. "What a vile sight," they remarked. "Look how white its teeth are," responded the rabbi.

But Rabbi Berkovits goes on to punctuate his thought with a qualifier that goes beyond negativity to touch the very essence of what loshon hora is all about.

“Looking for the negative,” he says, “is something lowly even when it causes no harm.  The prohibition is not to do something negative but rather not to do something lowly.”  If there is a constructive purpose in drawing attention to the negative at any given time then by definition it’s not lowly, and it may well be permitted.

So with the bottom line feel for the what of loshon hora firmly in hand, what about the who, as in who does the what apply to?

Everybody.

You can forget about all of the popular misconceptions that hold that the laws of loshon hora don’t apply to certain classes of people because the reality is that there are no free passes and no stealth rides under the radar.  The laws of loshon hora represent a thoroughly egalitarian framework which allows for no exceptions whatsoever in which a Yid would be allowed to freely speak loshon hora without having a positive purpose that would qualify as a proper toellis, irrespective of who was the object of one’s loshon hora.

And no exceptions mean that one can’t freely denigrate non-religious Jews for the same reason that you can’t talk on religious Jews.  It’s lowly.  And it’s no less lowly to speak loshon hora on goyim for no good reason.

One of the fundamental principles of the laws of loshon hora, as laid out by the Chofetz Chaim in his sefer, is that none of the exceptions that would allow someone to speak loshon hora l’toellis (for a legitimate purpose) apply if the one spoken about would suffer undue harm, as that may be defined relative to time and place.

And Rabbi Berkovits makes it clear that this rule even includes apikorsim.

Moreover, while it is most certainly permissible to contrast the differences between a Torah and an anti-Torah lifestyle for educational purposes, you can’t run down stam apikorsim by speaking loshon hora about them without any shmeck of toellis just to have a good time.

Because it’s still lowly.

Why Do the Righteous Suffer?

No small question this, and if we put a contemporary spin on it we might rather ask the following:

Why are so many young people being taken from us before they are zoche to leave progeny in their wake?

Why are so many young married women being stricken the dreaded yenne makla?

And why are so many Gedolei Torah being called to their justly deserved reward when we so desperately need their guidance at street level in this world?

The answer, of course, is that we haven’t a clue as to these or any of the other innumerable imponderables that besiege us.

But the Chofetz Chaim does.

Rabbi Yechiel Perr, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Derech Ayson, tells us in the name of Rav Pinchos Shalom Briskman that the Chofetz Chaim z”l was once confronted by his daughter with the very question that we posited above. His son-in-law, who was a big tzaddik and a great talmud chocham, passed away at a very young age and his young widow reminded her father that he had promised that her husband was a great tzaddik and then she asked:

“Tateh, why did he die so young?”

“There are people, answered the Chofetz Chaim, who are equivalent to half the people in the world.  There are others who are equivalent to a third of the world.  And there are still others who are the equivalent to of one quarter of the world’s people.

“What do you want, he asked her?  That the Ribbono Shel Olam should lay waste to half the world?

“Instead He took just one person.”

So why do the righteous suffer anyway?

There are as many reasons as there are permutations of the sufferings in which they are engulfed and we aren’t privy to any of them.

But as the Chofetz Chaim lets us hear, there are times that those sufferings may well beat the alternative.

Hitting the High Note

In EmunahSpeak: From Weak Want to Strong Need we said that the avodah of acquiring true ratzon (desire/will) to get close to Hashem is the root of everything.  And consequently, the beginning of a person’s avodah is to inspire his ratzon more and more.  It’s to change a weak want into a strong need.

And we concluded that only a need that has a laser like penetration of a soul on fire can shift one into gear sufficient to bring him closer to Hashem.

This is moving toward the Deveikus that the Ramchal, right at the very beginning of chapter one of the Mesillas Yesharim, tells us (in the name of Chazal) is the sole purpose for our creation.  

The Ramchal, tracking the teaching of the Tanna, Pinchas ben Yair, outlines a path for us to follow so as to bring our purpose here to fruition with the first stop along the way being that of Watchfulness.  He continues to move us along in an upward trajectory to Holiness which is the culmination of Pinchas ben Yair’s teaching:

Holiness leads to Ruach HaKodesh (the Holy Spirit) and Ruach HaKodesh leads to the Revival of the Dead.

The Mesillas Yesharim explains that the road to this level of Holiness is paved with much solitude and separation, which, by eliminating the claims upon a person, allows his soul to grow in strength and unite itself with the Creator.

Nice work if you can get it, but what about the rest of us?

It could well be that the most amazing thing about this most amazing of seforim (Mesillas Yesharim) is that the Ramchal (in theory at least) is speaking about the rest of us.

Rabbi Itamar Schwartz tells us in Bilevavi Mishkan Evneh that we shouldn’t be intimidated by the Mesillas Yesharim’s references to solitude, separation and the like.  He explains that sometimes….a person believes and entertains the thought that to cleave to Hashem, one must be as separate from the world as was Moshe Rabbeinu and be completely detached from all matters of this world.

He lets us know that such a thought is a tip off that the Yetzer Hora has us laser locked in its sights and has given us advice for the purpose of distancing us from the Creator.  It seeks to portray closeness to Hashem as something elitist for only the chosen few and way above the pay grade of everyone else.

The aforementioned reference to the methodology of Holiness notwithstanding, the Mesillas Yesharim let’s us know black on white that as regards this exalted level, Hashem is in actuality an Equal Opportunity Employer:

Each person has a path of saintliness suited to him according to his situation.  One who, due to necessity, performs only lowly work, can be a complete saint--just like one whose mouth does not pause from learning.

Rabbi Schwartz explains that it is evident from the words of the Ramchal that one whose deeds are truly for the sake of Heaven, who learns Torah as much as his time and ability will allow, and who works only as needed and only for the sake of Heaven can be a saint who cleaves to his Creator to the extent that he will achieve Ruach HaKodesh and the ability to revive the dead, regardless of his occupation, be it Torah or labor.

Nice work if you can get it, and the Mesillas Yesharim tells us that we can.

Speech is Why We’re Here

  GuardYourSpeak

(In June 2012 we launched GuardYourSpeak which, as its name implies, was dedicated to focusing on all aspects of Shmiras HaLoshon.  In short order it became burdensome to maintain both sites, so in recognition of the fact that the material posted on GuardYourSpeak was a natural fit for EmunahSpeak, it was decided to discontinue GuardYourSpeak and repost all of those pieces on EmunahSpeak over the course of the next few months.)

Although the Gesher HaChaim enumerates no less than thirteen specific attributes that distinguish human beings from animals, the miracle of speech is the gold standard of that distinction, and through it man connects to Hashem by way of Limud Torah and tefillah.

Rabbi Zev Leff informs us that this use of our faculty of speech for the purposes of learning Torah and dialoging with Hashem is not incidental.  At its core, speech is the outward representation of the Neshama and the means by which one manifests his inner kedusha.  

It’s all about bringing out the spiritual potential from our Neshamos through speech by way of Torah and tefillah.  In this way we build the world and infuse it with the energy it needs to exist.

When you crystallize what’s in your mind it coalesces into a thought that subsequently morphs into speech which is invariably a catalyst for action.

Simply put, speech is why we’re here.

Therefore, it follows that a person who takes speech, whose purpose is to give life, and uses it instead to tear down people and the world, is abusing the essence of life and turning it into an agent of death.  Loshon Hora vaporizes a person’s claim to be a human being by destroying that aspect of creation that distinguishes us from the animals.

Is it any wonder then that Rav Leff tells us that Loshon Hora is an act of destruction that he compares to total death?

And do we not also see this in what happened to Miriam when she spoke Loshon Hora against her brother Moshe, and as a consequence thereof all of her skin turned white from tzoras?

Why tzoras?

Whereas Loshon Hora negates a person’s spiritual life and transforms him into a virtual dead person soul wise, a metzorah, whose flesh is covered from head to toe with tzoras, represents the physical mirror image of that rotting soul.

Like we said above, speech is why we’re here. 

And when man puts that faculty of speech into play to create, by uniting man in the service of Hashem, he hits the high note of his purpose in this world.

The Statue of the King

The Torah teaches us that Man is created in the image of Hashem.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller z”l considered this to be one of the most important statements in the Torah and Rabbi Yehuda Litwen drives that point home by explaining that That which constitutes man (his essence) is nothing less than a microcosm of every aspect of how Hashem reveals Himself to the olamos (to all of the worlds).

We are also taught that this image of Hashem is nothing less than a human face which is a direct reflection of Hashem.

It’s the statue of the King.

And as Rabbi Miller z”l explains it, your face is like a screen and your neshama is a projector which projects upon your face the glory of the human soul.  And the human soul contains within it, not so coincidently, the greatness of Hashem because when He breathed into Man He breathed from Himself.

And even though you can reliably take Rabbi Miller’s words to the bank, he would rather that you took them directly to the street to see for yourself how they play out.

He suggests that once a day you should pick a face (men should pick a man’s face and women a woman’s face) and look into it (all the while reminding yourself that you’re seeing the Tzelem Elokim).  If your eyes are open you’ll see nobility expressed in that face.  And a greatness.

How great?

An endless greatness because the truth is that there is nothing in the universe as entrancing and as noble as a human face.

Do it every day, he tells us, and little by little you’ll begin to comprehend this endless nobility that radiates from a face.  And from there it is only a small step to the realization that you are looking at the nobility of the Shechina itself and not far behind that comes a sophisticated understanding of the Gemara’s statement that if A slaps B in the face he slaps the face of HaKodesh Boruch Hu.

The King has given us of Himself and He expects us to exert ourselves to properly maintain that which we have been given.  And to this end the Gemara exhorts us to wash our faces every day.

And as Rabbi Miller z”l was wont to say, when you wash it do it right. 

Have in mind that you’re washing the Statue of the King.

The Satan’s Curve Ball

It seems that Sandy has been brought out of retirement and packed off to Eretz Yisrael for a short gig to officially end the drought that has plagued the country all too long now.

And although we are only mid way through the meteorological riff that is presently playing a few chords of Sandy throughout the length and breadth of Eretz Yisroel, we can already see the quicksand.

It’s all a test for the Eretz Yisraeldike Yidden and for those of us who are the Bnei Sandy.

From the perspective of those whose feet are firmly planted in Eretz HaKodesh the message could be as follows: Pay a little less attention to some of the low budget Mekubalim and other worthies who were wont to make what seemed like endless dire predictions and pronouncements in reference to the import of Meteorological Event Sandy and instead turn your attention to some serious Teshuva of your own.

On the other hand, they are free to see nothing but the rain, snow, and the sand storms.

The bigger test, however, is for the Bnei Sandy.

In EmunahSpeak: A Gut Rehab we said that In the ruins of Long Beach, Belle Harbor, Seagate, and Staten Island, to name but a few of the worst hit areas, Hashem has revealed to us where we go from here. The gut rehab that hundreds of us are doing to all or part of our houses is a moshol for the gut rehab we have to do to ourselves.

You have to become a different you, period.

And we don’t mean doing the Daf, writing a big check for disaster relief, or becoming a regular on the Shemiras HaLoshon Hot Line or at the Ohel Sara Amen Group.

We’re talking Tikkun HaMiddos here as the Mesillas Yesharim understands it. Simply put, in paralleling what we are doing to our houses we have to rip out our gaiva, taiva, kas, and kina and toss it into the dumpster with the sheet rock. 

This is what we have to do, and to that purpose we must stay focused with our eye on the ball so to speak.

Under no circumstances should we be redefining our experience in light of theirs by thinking even for so much as a nanosecond that if the weather can do cartwheels in Eretz Yisrael also, maybe there was no specific lesson to be learned from Sandy after all and that out gut rehab need not be so wrenching.

The Satan is setting us up for a high hanging curve ball.  

On its way to the plate we’ll (think we) see clear as day that the whole Sandy thing was over-hyped and that at the end of the day it wasn’t much more than a pretty bad storm that could happen to about anyone, as can be clearly seen from Sandy Lite now on stage in Eretz Yisrael.  And if that's what we see, we most definitely won’t see the necessity of the great Tikkun HaMiddos that we mentioned in EmunahSpeak: A Gut Rehab.

It's the Satan's curve ball.

Don’t swing at it!

It Depends…

Three days ago we posted EmunahSpeak: From Weak Want to Strong Need and it’s already begging for an update.

The main thrust of what we were saying there was that the avodah of acquiring true ratzon (desire/will) to get close to Hashem is the root of everything.  And consequently, the beginning of a person’s avodah is to inspire his ratzon more and more.  It’s to change a weak want into a strong need.

And what’s a strong need?

By way of example we cited EmunahSpeak: A Burning Need, where we said that Most of us want to learn.  How many need to?  Do you want to help others or do you need to help others?  And then speaking to the very point that we were endeavoring to make in the piece we asked: Would you like (want) to connect Hashem or do you need to connect to Hashem?

Very nice to be sure with the point well made, or at least we thought so at the time.  The truth, however, as we subsequently discovered, is that the defining of a strong need was a touch above our pay grade. The best we could hope to do was to illustrate the proposition in the context of juxtaposition by literally playing off the concept of a weak want against a strong need.

So what else is there to say?

For that we need a Gadol b’Torah whose knowledge of Talmud Bavli can be summed up in two words: ba’al peh (by heart).

Not long after posting EmunahSpeak: From Weak Want to Strong Need, I received an email from Rabbi Yehuda Litwen.

He wrote that “The point you made in EmunahSpeak: From Weak Want to Strong Need is one of the things that separates Gedolei Yisrael from the rest of Klal Yisrael.  On Purim ten years ago in the house of the Gaon, HaRav Moshe Brown shlita, I witnessed the following episode:

“Rav Brown was in no position at the time to make any fundamental distinctions between Mordechai and Haman and everyone was crowded around him (and on top of him!) and one of the chevra is on auto pilot yelling ‘Rebbe, how do you always remember EVERYTHING?

“He responded ‘it depends….

“if you know your life depends on it then you remember it.’”

How strong are your needs?

From Weak Want to Strong Need

As stated in the Mesillas Yesharim, the purpose of life is closeness to Hashem and deveikus (attachment) to Him. 

And we learn in Bilevavi Mishkan Evneh that the avodah of acquiring true ratzon (desire/will) to get close to Hashem is the root of everything. 

So where are you holding in your desire to get close to Hashem?

Are you pumped or do you merely want to get close to Him in much the same way that you want it to be a nice day outside?

Rabbi Itamar Schwartz goes on to tell us that if one does not truly want, but only wants to want, his whole foundation is built (to the extent that it’s built at all) on swamp land courtesy of his weak ratzon.  He may have a ratzon to get close to Hashem, but not it's strong enough to take him out of his comfort zone long enough to break a sweat.

As we said in EmunahSpeak: A Burning Need, wanting is passive and, as such, it’s not wired for tachlis.  If it so happens that that which was wanted actually comes to be, the fruition of that want was not in response to it.  A need, by contrast, is proactive and, by virtue of its fiery nature, it can (and usually does) clear a path for itself.

And so it goes for almost any situation.  Most of us want to learn.  How many need to?  Do you want to help others or do you need to help others?

And anticipating what it takes to come close to Hashem we also asked there:

Would you like (want) to connect Hashem or do you need to connect to Hashem?

The beginning of a person’s avodah is to inspire his ratzon more and more.  It’s to change a weak want into a strong need.

And only a need that has a laser like penetration of a soul on fire can shift one into gear sufficient to bring him closer to Hashem.

It Was All About the Sand

HaRav Avraham Schorr reminds us that after Akeidas Yitzchak, Hashem gave Avraham Avinu the brocha of the stars and the brocha of the sand.

He then asks: “Why did he need the brocha of sand if he had the brocha of stars?  The stars are much greater in numerous ways.”  

In EmunahSpeak: A Gut Rehab we spoke about what our focus should be in the wake of the devastation wrought by Sandy when we pointed out that In the ruins of Long Beach, Belle Harbor, Seagate, and Staten Island, to name but a few of the worst hit areas, Hashem has revealed to us where we go from here. The gut rehab that hundreds of us are doing to all or part of our houses is a moshol for the gut rehab we have to do to ourselves….Simply put, in paralleling what we are doing to our houses we have to rip out our gaiva, taiva, kas, and kina and toss it into the dumpster with the sheet rock.

That’s certainly the way out of the mess in which we find ourselves, but how did we get into it in the first place?

Rav Schorr answers by way of the question he posed above by revealing to us that sand has the midda (attribute) of yira (fear) while the waves have the midda of ahava.  And not so incidentally, sand keeps the waves within their designated boundaries.

And on that score he lets us know that the back story of Sandy is nothing less than a thoroughly soaked inyan of midda keneged midda. 

The basic destruction caused by Sandy happened because the waves of the Yam (sea)went over its boundaries. The sand didn’t stop the Yam because we were missing the midda of yira that is supposed to keep our tumultuous personal yam in check.

And how did we lose our midda of fear?

The word no was removed from our vocabulary vis á vis our indulgence in gashmius as we let our yam run amuck without boundaries.

As we said in EmunahSpeak: Was it Just a Storm? Leaving aside those who were displaced from their homes because Sandy had invaded their actual living space as opposed to their basement or a rental unit, the moshol (that the gut rehab we are doing to our houses is a moshol for what we have to do to ourselves) was apparently a tad north of where most of the rest of us were holding because rather than use the sheet rock etc. as a template for the heavy lifting that a real Tikkun HaMiddos would require, we did the opposite.

We remodeled instead with a better floor (ceramic tile), carpet, appliances, doors and anything else we could get the insurance company and/or FEMA to pay for. 

It’s bad enough that many of us seem to lack understanding as to where we go from here.  But what’s worse, as per our penchant for remodeling and as Rav Schorr makes clear, is that we are even clueless as to how we got here in the first place.

So on the designated Yom HaDin Hashem followed our lead and let the yam devour the sand that was supposed to hold it in check.

It was not for nothing that it was called Sandy.