For The Love of The Mitzvah

I was recently at the levaya of Mrs. Blau A”H, formerly of Boro Park, but now firmly and rightfully ensconced somewhere in the neighborhood of the Kisei HaKovod. 

There was much talk of her sterling middos in addition to a selflessness that recognized no limits that would restrict her multifaceted chesed activities in any way.

When it came to the needs of yenem, be they financial or emotional, NO was missing in action from her vocabulary, as was Yes as far as her own needs were concerned.

And from the midst of all this goodness one particular middah stood out from the others in the words of several of the maspidim (funeral speakers).  We were told that Mrs. Blau A”H had a special love for doing mitzvohs in general and that the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah (the separation and burning of a certain quantity of dough) occupied a very special place in her heart.

For many years already, Mrs. Blau rose very early on Friday mornings to join several other women in one of the Boro Park bakeries to perform this mitzvah.

A year or so ago, the bakery purchased a much larger facility in the neighborhood. It moved its baking operations into the second floor of the new building and the women continued to perform the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah as before.

With the exception of Mrs. Blau that is.

She had some serious problems with her legs, which precluded her from climbing the stairs, so she was forced to take a pass on the mitzvah which she loved so much.

At some point, one of her sons found out that she was no longer going to the bakery to perform the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah and also the reason why.  He told his mother that he knew the owner of the bakery and that he would arrange for her to take the freight elevator to the second floor of the bakery where the other women met to “take off” challah from the dough.

On the very next Friday, a very excited Mrs. Blau showed up at the bakery at 4:00 A.M. to perform her beloved mitzvah, but when she attempted to enter the freight elevator the operator wouldn’t let her on.  It seems that there was a miscommunication of some sort and the freight elevator operator was never informed that Mrs. Blau had permission to hitch a ride to the second floor.

What could she do?  She had given it her best but under the circumstances her best simply wasn’t good enough. 

We said in EmunahSpeak: It’s All About Desire, that we learn from Rabbeinu Yona that for his whole life a person should constantly desire higher goals.  One shouldn’t say, “I’m giving it my best,” because as laudable as it might sound on the surface, in reality it’s nothing more than a declaration of surrender to one’s present circumstances.

But it’s more than simply pushing the envelope on what hopefully is a goal oriented life.  Rabbeinu Yona takes it a step further by telling us that one should desire and yearn to attain UNREACHABLE levels.

There are times, of course, when one is not in a position to actualize his desires.  For physical, financial, or emotional reasons one may find it impossible to traverse the barriers placed before him, courtesy of his inherent limitations.

But Mrs. Blau was cut from different cloth.

Faced with a non-cooperative freight elevator operator interposed between her and the mitzvah of Hafrashas Challah, Mrs. Blau would have received full credit for the mitzvah had she dragged herself home. 

But she didn’t schlep out to a bakery at 4:00 for full credit.  Mrs. Blau was strictly cash and carry.  She came for the love of the mitzvah.

And as we also said in EmunahSpeak: It’s All About Desire, this greatness is not bestowed for giving one’s best but rather for desiring to give even better.

So she crawled up the stairs on her hands and knees one step at a time propelled by nothing….but her desire to break through every barrier that was placed between her and her mitzvah. 

It’s All About Desire

Contrary to popular belief, the main avenue of obtaining schar (reward) in Olam Haba is not by way of our actions in our term limited engagement in this world. 

Rabbi Daniel Glatstein informs us that in Shomayim the focus is on what we desired to do as opposed to what we actually did.  It’s about recognizing that our horizons are not circumscribed by our inherent limitations because we can desire our way past them as we noted in EmunahSpeak: Beyond the Horizon:

When anchored in hashkafic bedrock, our emunah and bitochon pokes a hole through our personal horizon, and beckons our imagination to walk through to the other side to a world in which everything is possible.

And we learn from Rabbeinu Yona that for his whole life a person should constantly desire higher goals.  One shouldn’t say, “I’m giving it my best,” because as laudable as it might sound on the surface, in reality it’s nothing more than a declaration of surrender to one’s present circumstances, as we further pointed out in EmunahSpeak: Beyond the Horizon:

You have a problem and you don’t see a solution, so that’s it as far as you’re concerned.  It’s time to turn out the lights and call it a day because your whole world is subsumed within the parameters of your imagination, and what you can’t see simply doesn’t exist for you.

But it’s more than simply pushing the envelope on what hopefully is a goal oriented life.  Rabbeinu Yona takes it a step further by telling us that one should desire and yearn to attain UNREACHABLE levels.

And how does one reach what Rabbeinu Yona defines as unreachable?

For Rav Shimshon Pincus, zt”l it was no problem, for as we said in EmunahSpeak: Within our Reach, he (Rav Pincus zt”l) informs us that Hashem goes above the rules for a person who has a desire for spiritual greatness and whose emunah is so strong that he believes that Hashem has both the ability and the will to transcend the normal order of things in our day.  Such a person does not question Hashem’s ways just as the Avos did not question Hashem’s ways and he does not feel thwarted by the fact Hashem created him with great limitations.  He also realizes the limited natural capabilities that he was endowed with cannot stop Hashem from bestowing spiritual greatness upon him. 

And this greatness is not bestowed for giving one’s best but rather for desiring to give even better.

Don’t Even Think About It

                                                                               

GuardYourSpeak

(In June 2012 we launched GuardYourSpeak which, as its name implies, was dedicated to focusing on all aspects of Shmiras HaLoshon.  In short order it became burdensome to maintain both sites, so in recognition of the fact that the material posted on GuardYourSpeak was a natural fit for EmunahSpeak, it was decided to discontinue GuardYourSpeak and repost all of those pieces on EmunahSpeak over the course of the next few months.)

You know how it is.

We see someone do or say something that we don’t approve of, and right away he’s guilty of whatever it is we’re charging him with in our minds.  We didn’t (at least this time) make a derogatory comment about it to anyone, nor were we mekabel this negative inference from yenem.

Neither saying nor hearing anything leaves us squeaky clean on our ride

under the radar as far as the laws of loshon hora are concerned.

Our thoughts, however, are a different story because as we explained in EmunahSpeak: Nothing but Thoughts:

You are what you think.  

We were speaking there in relation to character traits and we went on to point out that If his (a person’s) thoughts were saturated with humility it would be physically IMPOSSIBLE for him to conduct himself in an arrogant manner.  And so it is for every other midda, be it positive or negative.

And the same can be said even for certain mitzvos.

In the introduction to Sefer Chofetz Chaim the Chofetz Chaim lists 17 Laveen (negative mitzvos) and 14 Aseen (positive mitzvos) that one might potentially violate by either speaking or believing loshon hora.  While most of these mitzvos are not about loshon hora per se in their essence, the Chofetz Chaim tells us that when ones crosses the line on loshon hora he may also be violating one or more of these Aseen or Laveen.

But most of them are also violated without even uttering a word of loshon hora.

If someone is speaking loshon hora is he not, as was also said there, simply reading his lines; the lines that he has written for himself; the ones etched into his thoughts?  

If you said it, you first thought it.

And if you thought it, then even if you’re a tzaddik who kept his mouth shut in the aftermath of the judge and jury role playing that was outlined above, and you didn’t tell your wife, your co-worker or your best buddy what you saw or heard, you have to know that you’re a tzaddik who might already be in big trouble because you may have trashed the Aseh of judge your fellow Jew charitably. 

And that’s before you even opened your mouth. 

So it all comes down to this:

If you really want to control your tongue you have to first learn to control your mind because if you’re not already thinking about something that shouldn’t be there then it’s impossible that you should be speaking about it.

A Deeper Perspective

Given our penchant for doing our own thing regardless of the consequences, it must be that we don’t take those consequences all that seriously.  If we did we would conduct our affairs in a key more commensurate with the reality of our situation rather than be terminally off key.

This is nothing more than an obtuse way of saying that if we really believed in Hashem we wouldn’t do what we do.

And the reason that we don’t internalize the knowledge of Hashem the way we should is because He’s not real to us.  And for the why of this we need look no further than Bilevavi Mishkan Evneh which teaches us that Hashem’s invisible due to the superficial perspective with which we view the world.  By virtue of this filter, Hashem’s Hand and Providence are seen only during very unnatural miracles.

And given the fact that the big bang miracles were a one time phenomenon in history, our superficial perspective essentially renders us blind to the reality of Hashem in the world.

As a consequence, despite myriad examples and proofs brought by the Sha’ar HaBechina of the Chovos Halavovos showing how Hashem can be seen in every aspect of what we call Nature, our eyes glaze over this seamless perfection which bespeaks of a world of plan and purpose and we see nothing.

It is imperative that we flee from this superficial perspective as if it were the plague, because that’s exactly what it is.  It is a pox that distorts our field of vision replacing what should be a vision of the Divine with a blank screen.

Rather, as Bilevavi Mishkan Evneh tells us, a person must go beyond even what can be seen in Nature and see Hashem within each and every detail of his life.

With this deeper perspective of seeing the Godliness that underlines inanimate objects, plants, animals and humans, one elevates them from the ordinary to being creations connected to Hashem.  

And at the end of the day this defines the entire greatness of any created being:  the degree to which Hashem is seen and revealed it.

But even with Hashem in our face, so to speak, wherever we turn He remains somewhat out of focus because, ever present as He may be, we’re still looking in the wrong direction.

Hashem is called a Hidden G-d.

Where does He hide?  In a person’s heart.

And if one wants to connect to Him as opposed to being merely cognizant of Him within everything that appears on his screen he has to work to uncover Hashem's presence in his heart.

Fundamentally Flawed

On my recent trip to Eretz Yisroel I was asked by a very nice lady, who had sat on the other side of the empty seat that separated us during our flight, if I could help with her luggage and I readily agreed figuring that I would be stuck there for an hour or more, as was always the case, waiting for my own luggage to arrive.

As it turns out, I was surprised (shocked would be more accurate) to find that my suitcase was one of the first to come off the conveyor and onto the baggage carousel.

I was in a hurry to get to Yerushalayim and it occurred to me that maybe her luggage wouldn’t put in an appearance any time soon.  I didn’t wish to be bogged by this lady’s luggage so I quickly scanned the crowd for a replacement and readily noted that there was any number of people who would gladly help her without even being asked to do so.  So with clear conscience I quickly gathered my things.

I then asked her to watch my stuff while I went to freshen up a bit.  As I walked to the facilities I went through a whole back and forth in my head as to whether or not I should help her in any case even though there were many others who could perform this chesed just as easily. 

By the time I had washed my hands I had thoroughly weighed the pros and cons of hanging around to help this lady and I had come to the conclusion that it would be the right thing to do despite the aforesaid plethora of qualified replacements.

Mazel tov!

I had decided to do a chesed.

As I was basking in the light of my momentary righteousness I suddenly remembered that I had been forced to check a hat box at JFK that now had to be picked up at the oversized luggage counter here in Ben Gurion.  Had I left the airport as I had originally planned I would have left without it.  It wasn’t until I had decided to remain to assist the lady with her things that Hashem reminded me about my hat.

Within seconds I had connected the dots but then I remembered something I had recently heard at the levaya of Rav Mechel Tropper z"l.  Here I was sifting through the Yeas and Neys of performing a chesed with the default position being not to do it unless I could justify it which, Boruch Hashem, I did.  This is what most of us do on a daily basis but the whole thought process is fundamentally flawed.

Rav Mechel’s attitude toward chesed was just the opposite.  His default position was to always do whatever chesed appeared on his screen with only a serious objection to doing it given any weight, because when an opportunity to do a chesed came his way he would ask himself:

Why should I not do the chesed? 

It’s Lowly

  GuardYourSpeak

(In June 2012 we launched GuardYourSpeak which, as its name implies, was dedicated to focusing on all aspects of Shmiras HaLoshon.  In short order it became burdensome to maintain both sites, so in recognition of the fact that the material posted on GuardYourSpeak was a natural fit for EmunahSpeak, it was decided to discontinue GuardYourSpeak and repost all of those pieces on EmunahSpeak over the course of the next few months.)



Much of the loshon hora that is spoken, be it born of ignorance or willful blindness is fueled by a number of misconceptions as to what is fair game for one’s barbed tongue.  And those misconceptions are themselves rooted in a serious lack of understanding as to what the laws of loshon hora are all about.

Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits tells us that the prohibition of speaking loshon hora is the Torah’s way of letting us know that, in addition to not being allowed to damage a fellow Jew, we are supposed to be a higher people.  We are aristocratic, and it is therefore beneath our dignity to focus on the negative.  Yidden are supposed to exclusively dwell on the positive.

Our attitude as to what our true focus should be is best illustrated by a vignette from the Chovos Halevovos in which a rabbi was walking through the street with several of his students. They came upon the carcass of a dead dog. "What a vile sight," they remarked. "Look how white its teeth are," responded the rabbi.

But Rabbi Berkovits goes on to punctuate his thought with a qualifier that goes beyond negativity to touch the very essence of what loshon hora is all about.

“Looking for the negative,” he says, “is something lowly even when it causes no harm.  The prohibition is not to do something negative but rather not to do something lowly.”  If there is a constructive purpose in drawing attention to the negative at any given time then by definition it’s not lowly, and it may well be permitted.

So with the bottom line feel for the what of loshon hora firmly in hand, what about the who, as in who does the what apply to?

Everybody.

You can forget about all of the popular misconceptions that hold that the laws of loshon hora don’t apply to certain classes of people because the reality is that there are no free passes and no stealth rides under the radar.  The laws of loshon hora represent a thoroughly egalitarian framework which allows for no exceptions whatsoever in which a Yid would be allowed to freely speak loshon hora without having a positive purpose that would qualify as a proper toellis, irrespective of who was the object of one’s loshon hora.

And no exceptions mean that one can’t freely denigrate non-religious Jews for the same reason that you can’t talk on religious Jews.  It’s lowly.  And it’s no less lowly to speak loshon hora on goyim for no good reason.

One of the fundamental principles of the laws of loshon hora, as laid out by the Chofetz Chaim in his sefer, is that none of the exceptions that would allow someone to speak loshon hora l’toellis (for a legitimate purpose) apply if the one spoken about would suffer undue harm, as that may be defined relative to time and place.

And Rabbi Berkovits makes it clear that this rule even includes apikorsim.

Moreover, while it is most certainly permissible to contrast the differences between a Torah and an anti-Torah lifestyle for educational purposes, you can’t run down stam apikorsim by speaking loshon hora about them without any shmeck of toellis just to have a good time.

Because it’s still lowly.