Even though
mitzvahs whose performance are motivated by somewhat less than altruistic
considerations are fraught with imperfections, Chazal have admonished us to do
them anyway because mitzvahs not done for their own sake (shelo lishma) will
eventually lead to mitzvahs which are properly motivated (lishma).
And as Reb Yitzchak Frank reminds us, the shelo lishma mitzvah comes to us courtesy of the Yetzer
Hora, who can be counted on to be sitting in the wings waiting to pounce at the
first opportunity to stir the pot vis á vis our motivations.
When dealing with not yet observant Jews, the Yetzer’s operational strategy is to keep them as far
away as possible from anything that has even a shmeck of Torah and mitzvahs in
any form. But in relation to Torah Jewry it well understands that this approach is
a losing proposition. Instead it will
endeavor to water down the effect of one’s efforts in the realm of his Avodas Hashem.
If someone has a
propensity to give tzaddakah the Yetzer will, ever so subtly, steer him towards
the most worthless tzeddakah it can get away with. And if one has decided to take on learning
Daf Yomi the Yetzer will try to work it out so that he will get the least out of
his learning experience, be it by way of the ArtScroll gemaras for those who
don’t need them or by pushing traditional gemaras in the direction of those who
do.
Moreover, Reb
Yitzchak reveals to us an even more insidious tactic of the Yetzer Hora. He tells us that even when the Yetzer is
incapable of inducing someone to dumb down the sundry manifestations of his
Avodas Hashem, it will endeavor to allow him no time to reflect upon what his
avodah is actually all about, thereby rendering him a member in good standing
of a Judaism without meaning. In such a
case, the Yetzer will marshal all of its efforts simply to get you to ask,
what is the point of all this anyway?
As Reb Yitzchak
puts it, the Yetzer Hora is prepared to give a person everything except for
that which would breathe life into what he has been given.
But when all
else fails; when a person is not buffeted by big kashas as to what this world
is all about, and he’s not dissuaded from learning in a way that’s appropriate
for his station, and despite the Yetzer’s full court press he gives tzeddakah
to places that are highly respected in Shomayim, the Yetzer then plays its
favorite card and either influences him to do it shelo lishma (for the
wrong reason) or it so perverts a person’s motivation that he would be better
off not doing the mitzvah altogether.
But how is one
to plummet the depths of one’s motivations in a world that, more often than
not, is a study in shades of gray as opposed to black and white?
For this we need
Rav Dessler z”l, who, in his famous essay on tam (taste) and emes (truth) gave
us the tools to sort out the motivational aspects of our Avodas Hashem.
You pledged
$1,000 at an appeal in your shul with mixed motives? What did you think of first? Was it the tam or the emes?
Rav Dessler
tells us that if you thought that it was a worthy tzeddakah and, by the way,
everyone will think that you’re a big tzaddik, then write the check because you
are the proud owner of a mitzvah shelo lishma compliments of the Yetzer Hora. But if you first thought about showing off,
and then you rationalized that in any case it’s a good cause, put your money
back in your pocket because the Yetzer Hora has so bamboozled you that Rav
Dessler holds that your $1,000 pledge is nothing but a demonstration of gaiva
and/or chanifa. And this is not a
contradiction to Chazal’s admonishment above to do a mitzvah even if it’s shelo
lishma because in Rav Dessler’s view, such a debasement of a mitzvah’s essence no
longer rises to the level of a mitzvah shelo lishma.
The test of tam
v’emes is a yardstick that can be applied to virtually any mixed motive
situation because deep down you know what you thought first. And if it just so happens that your Yetzer
has nudged you to visit someone in the hospital that you only casually know
from the neighborhood because you would like to get him for a customer, and
while you’re there you’ll khap arein the mitzvah of being mevaker cholim, then
save the gas.
Stay home
instead and watch the ballgame. At least
you’ll be doing something lishma.
