And why don’t
you need it? Because you can’t have it.
In case you were
wondering, this seemingly nonsensical banter comes to us courtesy of Rabbi
Zecharia Wallerstein and it’s all about the theory of absolute which
posits that if you know you can’t have it (something), you don’t need it.
Say what?
He gives us the example of someone who
is, nebach, an addicted smoker and he’s also a very religious Shomer
Shabbos Jew. This Jew doesn’t spend Shabbos
looking at his watch every fifteen minutes in anticipation of lighting up ten
seconds after Havdalah because he knows with an absolute certainty that he
can’t smoke during this time, and because he can’t smoke during this time it
doesn’t exist for him and he most definitely doesn’t need what doesn’t exist.
That was an easy
one and likewise for the various things that we are forbidden to eat (kashrus) and
actions that are proscribed (idolatry, certain relationships etc.).
They are easy
because we have fixed them in our mind as rock solid absolutes, but there are
other things that are no less toxic, but for which we have a soft spot because
and only because we have not internalized the idea that we can’t have it or do
it.
And does not
Loshon Hora immediately come to mind?
It does, but
it’s not flying solo because there are many such things in your life that are
not good for you and you can even be cognizant of them, but unless you come to
view them as absolutely not good for you you’ll continue to play
peek-a-boo with them much to your detriment.
The theory of
absolute which establishes your non need for a given thing or
activity is a full 180 from the burning need that we spoke about in EmunahSpeak: A
Burning Need but the intensity
is the same, for to the extent that you need something or need to do something in
one case that’s how much you’re striving not to need something in the other.
Or maybe it’s actually
two sides of the same coin.
In EmunahSpeak: A
Burning Need we said that If
you go through life merely wanting to do, nothing will ever get done. But
if, with a soul on fire, you take that journey needing to do, nothing will ever
get in your way.
You should have
a burning need to view what’s not good for you as being absolutely not good
for you so that it won’t exist for you and you won’t need it ever again.
