Reflections on the DIVINE Dialogue
We are exhorted that our davening should not be an attempt to trigger a voice activated ATM machine. On the other hand, we are told with equal authority that we should ask Hashem for everything, even a paperclip or a tissue. The truth is that it’s not about asking or not asking or about how much one should ask for.
Hashem wants to give us more than we want to receive, and the good news is that the answering of our tefillos is not a zero sum game. If Hashem so desires, He can keep every ATM machine in the world perpetually bulging with its favorite currency regardless of the demands that are put upon them. The more we push those buttons with our tefillos the more Hashem likes it, with one caveat. Hashem likes it only to the extent that we create the circumstances for Him to respond positively to our shopping list if He should so desire.
When we are exhorted to eschew the ATM machine as a goal toward which are tefillos should be directed it means that we shouldn’t fall into the trap of being locked into an ATM mode that is set to cruise control. Although we will have fulfilled the admonition to ask for everything (and then some), we will have, as a consequence, rendered the chances of having those tefillos answered, procedurally problematical, which is a pareve way of saying that, procedurally speaking, it’s a loser.
There are, unfortunately, all too many of us who put a lot of shvitz into our davening every day in an attempt to get Hashem to bend His Will toward ours, which is an exercise in futility if there ever was one. Apparently, the thinking goes, a few choice words, a tear or two (if really desperate), and Hashem will forget all about what was decided for that person on Rosh Hashana.
It doesn’t work this way.
While it is true that in exceptional cases concerning life and death and in other extreme circumstances tefillah has the power to change a decree, when it comes to the de rigueur shopping lists that we present to Hashem in the guise of davening Hashem doesn’t change His mind. That truth inevitably leads to the following: If Hashem doesn’t change His mind, then why are we davening?
For one thing, we’re davening for all of the things that were on our list when we thought we could play fast and loose with Hashem’s cheshbon for the year. But that’s only WHAT we are davening for during the thrice daily Divine Q&A that Chazal has provided for us in the middle brochos of the Shemoneh Esrei. And for those who are very much WHAT oriented, their requests also reflect WHY they’re davening. But what about the rest of us?
Why are we davening anyway?
What tends to get lost in all of this is the process of davening itself. We are speaking to Hashem, but not just casually speaking. We are having a dialogue as we seek a relationship with Him. And not just a casual relationship either, but one of intimacy.
As we have already said, the person whose davening is motivated by visions of a voice activated ATM on cruise control with his eye only on what's in it for me is attempting, for the most part, the impossible because Hashem doesn’t change (His mind).
But you could change you.
It is categorically impossible to enter into a relationship with Hashem and yet remain the same person that you were when you were still flying solo. And if you are a different person, then you are not locked into that other guy’s cheshbon from Rosh Hashana. As far as Hashem is concerned, it’s anything goes.
All you have to do is ask, and you shouldn’t be bashful about it either.
