In EmunahSpeak: Kol
Isha we pointed out that:
It’s
no less a nes for a top Brisker bochur, whose father happens to have more money
than Bill Gates, to marry a Bais Yaakov princess charming than for a thirty-five
year old dirt poor adopted girl in a wheel chair from twice divorced parents to
marry a thirty-six year old Talmud Chochim who amazingly seemed to appear out
of nowhere. It’s all one and the same.
Nissim
only come in one size. They're not easier nor are they harder. They
just are.
So
how exactly does one caress the bottom line of a nes anyway?
For
this particular nes….(the nes of
shidduchim) we should be davening, and
that’s pretty much all we should be doing. After all, if it's all about
nissim then it’s all about davening. How else should one throw the Divine
Presence into gear?
Unfortunately, nothing seems to have
changed since Kol Isha was posted over three years ago. If anything the shidduch situation has taken
a turn for the worse in at least some quarters.
Something has to be done here but we’re
already davening, so what exactly are we supposed to do for an encore?
We can personalize it.
In EmunnahSpeak: So
Say Something Already! we said:
We have the power to talk to Hashem
like a person talks to his fellow because the real idea of prayer is
communication. And in the context of that dialogue, we attempt to push
the buttons to which everything in the world is connected. The good news
is that no sincere prayer goes unanswered. That’s heads. Tails is
that sometimes the answer is no….
Moreover, even for those who savor the yes of instant gratification as
opposed to a no that may
reflect a spiritual or even physical long term benefit, not only does no
sincere prayer go unanswered, it doesn’t go wasted either.
You prayed for a loved one’s recovery
from an illness, and he died?
If you were sincere, then some other
person with an illness benefited because every single wish that passes your
lips, infused with the purity of your thought, is acted upon without exception.
This is the method by which Hashem runs
His world, and it works in both directions because we all have the potential of
benefiting from a prayer that was said for someone else.
It’s not enough to say Tehillim and
daven for the hundred names on your list.
We have to take it a step further.
Take one name, preferably of a girl
(or a boy) you don’t even know (but at least know where the name came from so
that you can be informed if and when this person gets married), but in any case
at least not someone close to you, and daven for a shidduch for that person.
But don’t stop there.
In addition to including that name
on your Tehillim and davening list you should say a specific number of Tehillim
every day, with this person in mind, and then ask Hashem to bring a Torahdike
shidduch for her (him) at the right time.
It is also important to either put some money in the pushka just before
or after asking Hashem to bring this individual a shidduch or donate a lump sum
(as much as you can afford) when you first take this on.
I personally opted for the lump. For those who can afford $1200, a very big segula would be to sponsor a baby through the Efrat organization in Eretz Yisroel which uses the funds to induce expectant mothers not to abort their fetuses. For those with the means and madraiga to do such a thing for a stranger, albeit a fellow Jew, the kavana should be that just as you are enabling a Jewish baby to be brought into this world, the person you are davening for should also be zoche to bring Jewish babies into the world.
For one name a person can have
proper kavana and as we said above:
If you were sincere, then some other
person with an illness (or in need of a shidduch)benefited because every single
wish that passes your lips, infused with the purity of your thought, is acted
upon without exception.
This is the method by which Hashem runs
His world, and it works in both directions because we all have the potential of
benefiting from a prayer that was said for someone else.
If
enough people take this on, at the end of the day a lot of people will receive
a yes through the back door of their
tefillos that they didn’t receive through the front door.
And
on what authority do I say this?
Mine!
You have a better idea?
